However, technically, it's still Monday so I'm still kinda on time...kinda.
Write an opening using: I'm in a half-full bottle of water.
It's times like these when I feel like I'm in a half-full bottle of water. My boss is blathering on about something that I'm pretty sure has nothing to do with me or my department and I'm just sitting in the bottle, waiting for him to swallow me up and poop me out. The clock just moves sooo slowly. That's how you know office meetings were created by the devil. If they were good for you, the time would move quickly.
Oh God, he's got a PowerPoint. Mitchum will rue the day he taught that man to use that program. And his ass ain't even here. Every time we have a PowerPoint all any of us come away with is a clear understanding that our boss has a serious case of ADD compounded with a narcissistic sense of self and his own power in the universe.
As I pretend to take notes on today's update on how rich my broke ass is making the company, I come to a realization. The only difference between me and my boss, I could actually be great at his job. Damn, why am I the one sitting in the bottle? I should be the one making the bottles. As he turns to my direction he says..."Keller, any ideas on how we can raise our bottom line?"
Welcome to Nadiyah's Flash Blog
Occasionally, I'll sit down and write little short snippets of what could someday turn into a longer story...or not. Either way, I thought, "Hey, why don't I post them so people can read them?" So, here they are. Uncut. Enjoy.
PS. The book I'm using is called, "500 Five-Minute Writing Exercises." I wrote it because I needed one like it. If you would like a copy, you can go HERE. You can also
.
PS. The book I'm using is called, "500 Five-Minute Writing Exercises." I wrote it because I needed one like it. If you would like a copy, you can go HERE. You can also
.Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Ex. 275: Roof Jumper
Exercise 275: You love the city at the night. The lights. The people. The atmosphere. It makes you feel alive and reminds you why you stay alive. And on really tough days, nothing makes you feel stronger and more powerful than jumping from the highest point in the city and seeing the faces of the people when you got up and walked away.
"You're gonna be arrested one day," Maxine says to you.
"For what?" you ask, dusting yourself off and winking at people who are still staring at you in awe and disgust.
"Oh, I don't know," she says. "Disturbing the peace, attempted suicide, reckless endangerment..."
You cock a haughty eyebrow at her and her list of possible arrest charges. Was she serious? Attempted suicide? "And what would be the charge for attempted suicide?" you ask her. "Life in prison?"
She slaps you hard on the shoulder she just helped you reset. "I'm serious, moron. You could hurt someone doing this. You could fall on top of someone and kill them."
You look up at the 64 floors you just jumped off and take a deep breath. "Sometimes," you say. "It's just a really good night for a fall."
"You're gonna be arrested one day," Maxine says to you.
"For what?" you ask, dusting yourself off and winking at people who are still staring at you in awe and disgust.
"Oh, I don't know," she says. "Disturbing the peace, attempted suicide, reckless endangerment..."
You cock a haughty eyebrow at her and her list of possible arrest charges. Was she serious? Attempted suicide? "And what would be the charge for attempted suicide?" you ask her. "Life in prison?"
She slaps you hard on the shoulder she just helped you reset. "I'm serious, moron. You could hurt someone doing this. You could fall on top of someone and kill them."
You look up at the 64 floors you just jumped off and take a deep breath. "Sometimes," you say. "It's just a really good night for a fall."
Monday, August 2, 2010
Air-jacking problem Solved
To prevent anymore in-flight hijackings, the Government has decided it best to arm all the passengers with pistols. Does this help or harm?
In theory it was a brilliant idea. Arm the passengers on a plane with Derringers. No one can take it hostage. However, in practice, theories always have at least one thing you realize waay too late that you really wished you'da thought of above anything else. Like if we're arming everyone, shouldn't we remove all the alcohol? or shouldn't we run at least a fifteen minute training course? Safety on. Safety off. Or shouldn't we, when handing these out to passengers, make sure there's no one with a history of mental illness or a rap sheet the size of the Australian Outback? Wouldn't want anyone to violate parole. And when all was said and done, shouldn't there have been a back-up plan in case one of the said drunken hoodlum crazies blew a hole in the plane's body while we're at 34,000 feet so that, maybe the bullet didn't penetrate metal and send us all plummeting to our deaths? You know. Little things like that.
In theory it was a brilliant idea. Arm the passengers on a plane with Derringers. No one can take it hostage. However, in practice, theories always have at least one thing you realize waay too late that you really wished you'da thought of above anything else. Like if we're arming everyone, shouldn't we remove all the alcohol? or shouldn't we run at least a fifteen minute training course? Safety on. Safety off. Or shouldn't we, when handing these out to passengers, make sure there's no one with a history of mental illness or a rap sheet the size of the Australian Outback? Wouldn't want anyone to violate parole. And when all was said and done, shouldn't there have been a back-up plan in case one of the said drunken hoodlum crazies blew a hole in the plane's body while we're at 34,000 feet so that, maybe the bullet didn't penetrate metal and send us all plummeting to our deaths? You know. Little things like that.
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